To Mother or to Smother?

    “I can’t live if living is without you!” there is a song around here somewhere ☺ Think about those words for a moment, what happens if you don’t feel the same way? Or if you would to break up, spend time on your own, or simply breathe. Do you feel you are suffocating within your relationship? Then there may be a “Smother” present.

    A “Smother” has very low self-worth and low self–esteem. Giving over his or her whole life for the other person. Though you might think I am about to bash mothers now, you would be wrong, because a Smother can be of either sex. One just has to be willing to believe that one can not live or even breath without thinking about the other, whilst never allowing the other to be anything else than perfect.

    It may sound pretty good at first to have a slave at your beck and call and some people survive quite well on this relationship but is it really healthy to breast feed a forty year old? Or to wipe their backside??

    Look around you more and more people are handing their lives over to prescription drugs every day, in order to get through life. Just under 46.7 million prescriptions for antidepressants were dispensed in 2011, a rise of 3.9 million on 2010. How depressing must it be then, to have someone jump out in front of you every time you feel like taking a risk, only to supress your thoughts of going out and grabbing a big chunk of life?

    This can be a very unconscious process by the way; your mind might just be running an all encompassing pattern of motherhood which causes you to always put yourself second and sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of your child/partner.

    This is no picnic for you if you are the one being smothered and you want to be free, because your smother will lay huge guilt trips on you. “oh it’s alright, don’t mind me, and all that I have done for you! Just leave me here alone”. Yes, if this pattern fits, then you will be able to feel the guilt choking you! ☺

    So if you are a  “Smother” please seek help and begin to live your own life. You will begin to feel better about yourself and the people that you love will be allowed to love you back, without feeling that they have to!

    If you are being smothered then help the other person to get help don’t try this one yourself as there can be a number of issues beneath the surface, just remember love is the driver for this behaviour.

    Love lives inside of you and not within someone or something else xxx